Home!

We finally got discharged yesterday afternoon, although the doctor was trying to keep us another day because Henry still sounded raspy.  Well, while he's standing there telling us this, Henry is nursing, and the oxygen saturation monitor is showing 99%, and my husband points to that, and the doctor says, "ok, you're right."   So, we're finally home with instructions to keep suctioning the nose and give breathing treatments as needed.

Now that he's home, he is so much more like himself and is doing great.  It feels even more fantastic to hold my sweet baby; no wires, no beeping machines, no nasal canulas.  Just a sweet baby in a cheesy "my first Christmas" fleece sleep n play.  The best Christmas present ever!

Still stuck in isolation

Well, we're not going home today as we had hoped.  They put Henry on supplemental oxygen last night because is saturation kept dipping a little bit.  We'll be here until at least tomorrow, and I'm wondering if we even get to go home then.  They'll try to wean him off the oxygen today and see how he does.  Poor baby has so many freaking tubes hanging off of him.  It makes holding him and handling him so much harder.  I just want to hold and cuddle my baby without worrying about pulling out an IV or kinking his oxygen line.  

It sure stinks to be stunk here watching your baby suffer on Christmas Eve.  It just breaks my heart.  He makes the saddest faces and cries so sadly.  I want to punch in the face whoever he caught this from!  

On the bright side, at least we are Catholic.  For us, Christmas doesn't end tomorrow; it is just beginning.  Here's to hoping we'll be celebrating Henry's good health soon.  Merry Christmas everyone.  

Poor Henry

We are in the hospital with Henry.  He came down with a cough on Thursday afternoon and it turns out he has RSV.  He was admitted last night and is getting breathing treatments every 6 hours and super duper nose suctioning.  It is so sad seeing him struggle like this.  My heart breaks for him.  Hoping he is well enough to go home tomorrow with a nebulizer for home use and hopefully we'll have a white Christmas to look forward to.   Right now they're predicting at least an inch of snow.  That would be a nice end to this harrowing experience.  St. Henry and St. Gerard, pray for us. 

Growing like a weed

Henry turned 2 weeks yesterday, and had already surpassed his birth weight by 4 oz, and grew half an inch. Oh my!  Before I know it, he will be a full grown kid!  

I guess the boobies are doing their job.  :)  It's definitely difficult, though, being on call 24/7.  I read really good breastfeeding books before he was born, and I know the first 40 days are hard, and after that, is the reward period.  I have to just keep reminding myself of that.  Aside from being up about every 2 hours during the night, my main issue is I want to be able to transition off of the nipple shield that I have been using due to inverted nipples, and he is having a hard time with it.  He latches right away with the shield, without me having to struggle with positions or anything like that.  I met with the lactation consultant yesterday, and we worked for about an hour with him, and he can, with a lot of prodding, and me constantly holding the boob in a "sandwich", get a latch on the real thing, but keeps popping off after a few swallows.  

I tried what she showed me at home, and it just ended in frustration for both of us, so back on with the shield.  Maybe he will get better at taking the real thing when he is a little bigger.  For now, I am not going to push the issue more than once a day, or I will spend the afternoon in tears like I did yesterday. At least I can rest assured in knowing he is definitely getting enough with the shield, so it is not a big deal to keep using it.  I would just like to be free of having to search for it in the middle of the night, reattach it when he accidentally knocks it off, or carry it with me whenever we go anywhere.   

Cloth diapering is finally in full swing and is going well.  We have been using cotton prefolds so far, but I think I will see if his b.um.gen.ius aios fit when he wakes up from this nap he's taking.  We have found that he has inherited my dairy issues.  I indulged the other night and had a chicken quesadilla, which was super duper cheesy.  Two hours later, the poor baby had an allergy ring diaper rash.  Luckily, we had his pediatrician appointment the next day, and he confirmed it was a food sensitivity and to discontinue dairy.  He also said to use a diaper cream with zinc oxide (which is a big no-no for cloth diapers), and we have been doing that with each diaper change, making sure to put a liner in the diaper to keep that stuff off the diapers.  The rash seems to be fading, so I am glad for that and hope to never let that happen again.  

Oh, I hear him stirring.  So, I better go.  Hope you all are having a great week!

Go boobs!

Henry had his first pediatrician appointment today, and he is gaining like a champ!  He was born weighing 6 lbs, 15 oz and got down to 6 lbs, 6 oz in the hospital.  He weighed in today at 6 lbs, 11 oz, which apparently is great.  According to the doctor, it normally takes 2 weeks to gain back that much.  So, you go, boobs!  :)

His cord stump also fell off today at the appointment . . .  and stuck to my shirt as I was carrying him to the scale to be weighed.  Yuck!  So, tonight will be his first bath.  I hope he likes it!  

My family centered c-section

I just wanted to share with everyone that I had a wonderful "family centered" c-section with the birth of Henry.  A c-section was so not what I wanted, but given my prior myomectomy, all the physicians I met with felt that I was too great of a risk of uterine rupture to be able to have a natural birth.  So, to be able to get as much of that natural birth experience as I could, I lobbied for a "family centered" aka "natural" c-section.  Here is an article that explains what it is: http://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC2613254/

Armed with this article, I first approached my OB with it somewhere in our 2nd trimester.  At first, he refused to read the article, lectured me about how long he has been practicing and how many babies he has delivered, and claimed I couldn't change hospital policies.  In the end, he agreed to read the article, then arranged for me to meet with anesthesia, and helped me find out who the pediatrician would be on call the day of our birth.  I met with the head guy in anesthesia and showed him the article, and he was totally cool with it as long as the OB was fine with it.  I then met with the pediatrician who would be on call, and and he was ok with it, as long as baby was breathing fine.  

When the time came, I got everything I wanted: immediate skin to skin, arms unrestrained, saw the baby coming out of the incision (didn't think I wanted that, so didn't include it in my birth plan, but my Dr. in the middle of the procedure asked the nurse to lower the drape, and they did, and I saw baby being born), able to discover the sex on our own, baby stayed with me for three hours before being taken for his assessments, no grief over us not wanting the hep b vaccine or the eye drops. Anesthesiologist was also fantastic at what he did. I had no nausea, no headache, no arm heaviness. The whole process could not have gone better. I am pretty sure this was their first time doing any of this. It was a lot of work on the front end to get everyone on board, but it all came together in the end. 

And, miracles of all miracles, Henry came out pink and crying, which I think is unusual for c-section babies.  I chalk it up to the St. Gerard relic I had in the pocket of my hospital gown during surgery.  St. Gerard was with us this entire pregnancy and of course, that's where Henry's middle name comes from.  :)

I hope that if any of you have to go through a c-section, you will be able to experience the "natural" c-section.  And, if it helps, I can email anyone a copy of my birth plan if you are interested.

I was also so pleased to hear the doctor tell me that my insides looked fantastic.  No adhesions!  Thank you, Dr. Hilgers!  And, after quite a bit of argument from my OB, I was able to get him to agree to use Sep.rafilm on my uterus.  When I brought up the subject, he said it was not standard of care and did not make a difference.  I countered that in order to get FDA approval, they had to show it was safe and effective.  I also argued that if it could prevent even one adhesion, I wanted it used.  So, he said he would review the literature again and reconsider.  The morning of my procedure, he told me he would use it, and agreed that if even one adhesion was prevented, it was worth it.  

All in all, a wonderful experience, despite being a terrifying medical procedure.  Glory be to God!

Henry's Thanksgiving outfit, and now his game day fight clothes. :)

It's a boy!

Henry Gerard born at 8:37 this morning, weighing 6 lbs, 15 oz, and measuring 20.5 inches long.  He is perfectly healthy and a great nurser.  Already three poopy diapers and one good wet one.  Glory be to God!

Finished, with less than 48 hours to spare!

I finally finished the baby pants I was knitting, with less than 48 hours to spare!

Monday morning at 7:30 central time is the scheduled c-section.  I can't believe it is here already!  This pregnancy has flown by and it's hard to believe that in just a few days a little one will be in this house.  Wow!  

Advice?

We're on countdown here, folks.  8 days left as "just us."  I feel like we need to have a "mardi gras" of sorts and do all the things that we're not going to be able to do again for a long time or that will just be different when baby gets here.  What are some things that you guys did in the last days before your baby arrived?  We're planning on going out for one more fancy dinner.  We'll probably get one more movie in.  I have a microdermabrasion appointment and may go ahead and try to get a haircut in since it will probably be a while before I can go to the salon.  A pedicure is also in order, and I should probably go ahead and get an eyebrow wax even though they aren't that bad yet.  Given them a week after baby is born, though, and I'm sure they'll be unruly.  

What else?  I feel like my husband and I need to live it up.  

I could also use some advice from moms who have had c-sections.  What kinds of things should I make sure I've got at home for when I come home?  I'm thinking I should stock up on snacks.  What else?  

8 days.  I can't believe it!

Progesterone

I ordered another batch of PIO from Kubat's and then found out I could stop all my progesterone.  So, now I have two new vials of 100mg PIO and lots of syringes, and the vials say to use before April 30, 2013.  Any of you ladies currently supplementing and could use this?

12 Days

Only 12 days until we meet this baby!  I have done all I can to try and prevent having to go forward with the c-section, but because the doctor who did my fibroid surgery back in 2007 did a terrible job in her OP note of describing what she did, there is no way to know how far into the uterus she cut.  So, the doctors are all scared of letting me labor.  So, bright and early on the 19th, we will be welcoming the little one into the world.  

I woke up 2 hours early this morning not able to sleep anymore, worrying about what still needs to be done before the baby gets here and hoping that somehow during the night the election results had changed.  Alas, they had not.  So, I spent the next two hours writing a birth plan, googling for new maids because me.rry mai.ds that we have been using just suck and I am tired of them, and designing the invitation for the baptism, and then had a good cry on husband's shoulder when he finally woke up. Needless to say, I feel just a little overwhelmed. 

I have spent the last several months talking with my doctor about my wishes for how the c-section goes (wanting immediate skin to skin contact and delaying newborn procedures for 2 hours) and have put together a birth plan documenting it all.  Let's just hope he abides by it and doesn't pull a switch-a-roo on me at the last minute.  

Baby has continued to do well despite the continued horrible progesterone numbers.  I am still in zone 1.  PPVI had me go in for a biophysical profile last Friday to make sure things are OK given the persistent low progesterone.   Baby scored perfect.  And, I had a follow up appointment today and the OB decided to do a non-stress test to make sure since Omaha had raised the issue.  Baby is doing great, but apparently I am having contractions that I don't feel.  Luckily, though, they are not doing anything.  He did a check on me and there is no progress.   Thank goodness, I started to get afraid he was going to tell me we're doing this c-section tomorrow.  

So, gladly, baby is still in there hanging out and not ready to go anywhere.  Now I just need to try and relax and enjoy these last 12 wonderful days of pregnancy.  The past 8 months have gone by so fast.   

Free Stuff

So, I just went to Mo.ther.hood and picked up a pair of pants and some tights, and I received this bag full of coupons.  Three of them are for free items, but the shipping for each item is $12.  If any of you need a carseat canopy, feel free to use this promo code at carseatcanopy.com:  DMQ3M2276CC

If you need a free "udder cover" feel free to use this code at uddercovers.com: DMQ3W325UC

And, if you would like a free baby sling, use this code at sevenslings.com: DMQ3B6648SS

I don't need any of these things, otherwise I wouldn't mind paying the shipping, but I don't want to pay that kind of shipping on things that I don't need.  

Enjoy!

Picture Post

Here is the baby cocoon and hat that I knit:

And here are the booties I made:

And here I am this past Saturday at 32 weeks:

Just 7 weeks left until c-section.  Can't believe it!

Brief Updates

1.  My sister in law hosted a baby shower for me this past Saturday, and it was great.  We had all of the sisters in law there who live here and close friends who all know what it has taken to get to this point.  There was a lot of reflecting on how long it's been and how excited everyone is to meet this baby.  And, of course, there were lots of much-needed gifts!  Most importantly, we received the car seat and BOB stroller.  Big ticket items that I was glad were given to us and we didn't have to purchase.  

2.  After the shower, I headed down to our local natural parenting shop where they sell cloth diapers and diapering accessories.  There was a meet the local doulas event going on, and I knew they were giving away several door prizes, including a gift certificate to the shop.  I wanted to win that gift certificate, and lo and behold, I did!  Yeah!  It was only for $35, but hey, that pays for a couple of diapers.  :)  

3.  In installed the car seat just a little while ago, and I've got the base so tight that the end that is close to the front passenger seat is raising up.  Anyone know if that's ok?  I emailed the local police station to see if I can swing by for an inspection, so hopefully I can just have someone take a look at it and put my mind at ease.

4.  I finished the knitted baby "cocoon" and matching hat that I have been working on.  Phew!  Finally!  That was a long project!  Now I'm on to knitting a pair of felted booties.  

5.  Emotions are getting the better part of me.  Last week at childbirth classes, we watched video of women in labor and babies being born, and I just about broke down and bawled when the babies were born.  It brought me to thinking about how happy I'm going to feel when we finally meet our baby that we have been waiting for and trying for for so long.  I just know I'm going to be a sobbing mess when we meet him/her.  

6.  I'm kind of feeling overwhelmed by all of the baby "stuff."  I am the most anti-clutter person ever, and having all this extra "stuff" is starting to kind of stress me.  And we didn't go overboard with stuff.  I really tried to think of what was really needed.  I suppose I can start goodwilling stuff as the baby outgrows it, or put it in the attic for the next baby.  

7.  This is not baby related, but I'm excited about the new Rev.ol.ution show.  The first episode was not as great as I had hoped, but I love the idea of this show.  I wish that the first few episodes would go more into what happened in the first days and weeks after the event, rather than starting with 15 years out after everyone's settled into their routines.  Maybe we will see more in flashbacks.  Anybody else excited about this show?  I think it will be like the new Lo.st for me.  Can't wait for tonight's episode! 

Can't Sleep

I can't sleep because we can't agree on a boy name and the baby will be here in 8 weeks!  I have been lying awake for an hour and finally decided to just get up.  I was running names through my head and praying to go to sleep and be delivered a message that of what our baby's name should be if it's a boy.  Instead, I have continued to just lay there agonizing over it.  I really hope this baby is a girl or we are really going to have problems.  I have offered 5 or 6 very good suggestions.  Good, solid, strong boy's names, and my husband just rejects each of them with no reason.  He suggests ridiculous sounding names, and I give reasons why I don't like them.  For instance, Hunter.  Um, babe, I don't think you should name a child after something you do.  I wouldn't name a girl Baker or Knitter.  Plus, Hunter is not a saint's name.  And, I have a half brother whose name is Hunter.  Roman.  Really?  Sounds like a frat boy name.  

Y'all, what are we going to do if we have a boy?  The middle name is set: Gerard.  No questions about that.  But, the first name thing is a battle.  Maybe I will just have to hi-jack the birth certificate when he's off getting a shower while I'm recovering in the hospital and I will just unilaterally name the baby!  

Progesterone still not cooperating, but baby doing well

Progesterone continues to be an issue in this pregnancy.  Despite 200 mg injections twice a week and 300 mg suppositories twice a day, I'm still in zone 1.  But, my last OB appointment on Tuesday went great.  My belly is measuring perfect and the baby's heart rate is great.  Plus, this baby is moving a lot.  So much so that last night, the baby was moving so much during my sleep that the movements made it into my dreams.  So, I guess all is well.  

I think I am also making progress with my OB on the issue of immediate skin to skin in the OR.  He is arranging for me to meet with the anesthesiologist to discuss it.  (Plus, I've also been secretly communicating with my family practitioner who is an OB and does c-sections.  He said it's not policy to do what I want to do, but he would talk to the head of pediatrics and anesthesiology and see what we can do.)  

Oh, and joy of joys, we have baby stuff!  My mom threw us a couple's shower this past weekend in Louisiana, and we came home with a car load of baby clothes and a few toys and things like baby lotion and powder, etc.  (also some disposable diapers, which I'm going to donate to the food pantry.  I know they hand out diapers to people who need them).  So, when we got back to town, I had the funnest time washing and folding and putting away baby clothes.  I just love going in the nursery and opening the drawers and looking at how tiny everything is!  

Next weekend, there will be another shower here where we live with family and friends from around here.  It is completely surreal being the recipient of a baby shower and not the person throwing one or just attending one.  I felt overwhelmed at the last shower with the miracle of this little baby and what it has taken to get to where we are.  Simply amazing. 

 And, besides the progesterone issue, the pregnancy has been a breeze so far.  My husband feels like the pregnancy is lasting forever, but I feel like it is going fast.  I can't believe we'll be holding our baby in about two months.  And, I know those two months are going to fly by.  I want to cherish every moment of this pregnancy.  

I could use a glass of wine

But, of course, I'm not going to have one!  But, I really could use it.  By the way, the gestational diabetes test is over with, so I just went ahead and did it.  But, I was crying through the whole thing because of how my doctor reacted to my desires for certain things to happen in my c-section.  I had scheduled in advance a longer appointment, so he knew I was coming to talk about the c-section.  He was almost antagonistic, though, when it came down to my requests.  He at first refused to read a medical journal article I brought in that explained the "family-centered" c-section (which includes things like not strapping down the mother's arms, not giving her so much medication that her arms are heavy, placing the baby immediately across the mom's chest with a blanket over the two of them instead of taking the baby across the room to a warm table), but eventually toward the end of the meeting folded the article and put it in his pocket.  I just felt like I was having to fight with him, and that put me in a very emotional mood as soon as I walked out of his office.  I did not expect him to be so prideful and "know it all" and dismissive.  Maybe after he has time to think about it all, he will lighten up and come around, but right now, I'm still crying (thanks, hormones) and thinking maybe I should switch doctors.  

I mean, there were other things I wanted to discuss with him and had articles I brought, but I sure didn't bring those up yet.  I wanted to talk about adhesion prevention and give him copies of Dr. H's article and another article I found that specifically talked about adhesion prevention in c-section.  I did ask about sep.rafi.lm, and he claimed that it hasn't proven to make a difference, but that's not what I've read.  And, so what if it doesn't? Can't hurt, right?  Can he please just use it on me given that we know I'm prone to adhesions?  My husband thinks we should stick with him and just bring up one issue at each visit, but after today, I'm not so sure things will go any differently at future visits.  Lord, I just bring up the idea of placing the baby on my chest, and he goes off claiming it can't be done.  Imagine how he'll react when I ask him to close my uterus in a certain way!

I wish I knew of a way to find a new doctor that I could know in advance would have no problem with accommodating some alternative ways of how a c-section usually goes.  I wish I could just go to Omaha and have Dr. H do my c-section.  Better yet, I wish I could just have a good old fashioned home birth.  

Glucose Test

I have my next OB appointment this afternoon, and I seem to recall him mentioning that they would do the glucose test the next appointment.  What is the point of that?  If I had diabetes, wouldn't I be heavy?  And, does it matter if I'm having a planned c-section?  I've read that the problem with gestational diabetes is the risk of a big baby.  Well, if it's being cut out of me anyway, then that's not an issue.   Plus, I don't want to pollute my body with a bunch of sugar (despite the ginormous cotton candy picture, I only ate a couple of bites).  Can you refuse this test?  Is there a real reason for me to have it?

Pregnancy Benefit

Amazing how much more cotton candy you get when you're sporting a bump!

Baby jacket finished

Drum roll, please . . . . .  I finally finished the baby's jacket that I was knitting, and here it is:

I'm so happy with how it turned out, and I can't wait to see our little baby in it!  Now, I'm working on a baby cocoon type thing, or sleep sack with a matching hat.  I'll post pics when I'm finished.  :)

Really?

Ok, I'm starting to feel like Job.  First, it's ulcerative colitis.  Then, constantly low progesterone readings during this pregnancy.  And now?  Freaking skin cancer.  I can't believe it.  I randomly had a bleeding mole on my inner thigh around the 4th of July, so out of caution, I made an appointment with the dermatologist and they thought it was suspicious, so they removed it.  Then, they call today and say it's basal cell carcinoma and that I'll need to come back in after the baby is born and apparently have my leg dug into some more and burnt.  Oh, and to top it all off, this is going to be done just 2 weeks after a c-section.  Come on!  Good Lord!  It just feels like malady after malady just keeps coming.  And, what the hey?  My inner thigh never sees the sun.  So, how can this happen?  I feel so beaten down and exhausted.  I'm tired of health issues and am certainly not looking forward to having my leg dug into while I'm recovering from major surgery and am sleep deprived from having a two week old little one.  Can you guys pray for me?  I really need some uplifting.  

    

What is wrong with my body?

So, since 12 weeks, I've been hanging out in zone 2, despite the 200 mg progesterone injections.  I'm 24 weeks now, and just got a call from Dr. H's office that my draw from yesterday was 44.7, zone 1.  So, they are adding progesterone suppositories.  I don't want to get worked up about this, but it does concern me.  Why is this happening?

Picture updates

Here are pics from over the last couple of months.  I forgot to note how many weeks each of these photos are, except for the most recent one:

The crib!

Starting to show

a little more growth

And a little more

And a little bigger!

23 weeks!

My thoughts over the last several days

I have been thinking a lot about the whole c-section thing since my doctor's appointment last Friday.  Pretty much all of Friday, I was in tears every time I thought about it.  A panicky, anxious kind of crying.  The idea of laying there awake while my guts are cut open and I can feel them pulling and tugging, oh God.  It's barbaric and scary.  I think I need to see a counselor or psychologist who works with overcoming fears if I am going to be able to go through this.  

Second, I keep questioning whether my doctor was insisting on the c-section or just trying to convince me and get my OK.  I feel like I need to schedule a meeting with him to go over it again.  Is there any room for compromise?

Third, I am so worried about the adhesions issue.  Dr. H did such great work last year taking care of my crazy adhesions. They were all over the place, so of course I am predisposed to getting adhesions.  I want more children in the future.  If I have the c-section, that is likely to leave me with adhesions, which will put me right back in my infertility fight.  If I could just have the adhesions issue out of the equation, I know that would make the conception of any future babies a lot easier.  So, I see two risks or options.  In the first, if by some chance I could convince the doctor to let me try a vaginal birth, there is the slight risk (I am guessing 3% chance), that there could be a uterine rupture, and he would have to perform an emergent c-section.  In such an emergency situation, he's not going to have time to take steps to minimize adhesion formation.  However, there would be a 97% chance he wouldn't have to do the c-section.  

Option 2, with a scheduled c-section, maybe I could get him to agree to follow certain techniques to minimize adhesions.  I did e-mail Dr. H's nurse at the beginning of my pregnancy to ask what I could ask my doctor to do to help minimize adhesions, and they replied back to ask the doctor to use a two-layer uterine closure and ask her/him to close all layers-especially the peritoneum and bladder flap.  That seems to be in accord with this discussion I found online: http://www.zsxmedical.com/resources/Diamond.html

I also found this website for an adhesion barrier product: http://www.csectionhealing.com/adhesion-prevention.aspx

And, I came across a reference to a journal article describing Dr. H's research and near adhesion-free surgery.  The article is called "Near Adhesion-Free Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery: Three Distinct Phases of Progress Over 23 Years", but I can't find free access to it anywhere on the internet.  Anyone happen to have a copy?  I'd like to see if any of those techniques might be able to be used during c-section.  I'd like to discuss those things with my doctor, too.  I hope he doesn't get offended, but I just want to make sure we do everything we can to prevent me having to have another surgery (or surgeries) to correct damage done during a c-section.  

So, go with a scheduled c-section where hopefully my doctor will use techniques designed to reduce chances of adhesions?  Or, take the 3% chance that I will need an emergency c-section where precautions would be thrown out the window?  Of course, this all assumes that I even have a choice.  After Friday's appointment, I don't know what to think.  Was he insisting, or persuading?  If persuading, that means I have a choice.  But, I don't want to make a stupid choice.  

23 weeks checkup and the dreaded "C" word

Hi all!  Just got home from my 23 week checkup and everything is still looking perfect (oh, except for the fact that my progesterone has consistently been in zone 2 despite 200 mg shots twice a week, but oh well). Baby's heart rate was 158, and the belly measurement was "perfect."  I haven't gained any weight since last time, though, so hmmm.  I guess because I can't have any junk food because most junk foods have wheat, and I'm supposed to limit sugar according to my food sensitivity testing?  

Now for the distressing and sad news.  My doctor finally reviewed the op report from my myomectomy and says he recommends a c-section.  If it was his daughter, he'd recommend the same thing, yadda, yadda, yadda.  So, for now, I've got to get my mind around that and the fear of it.  I think my biggest concerns are, besides the inherent risks of the surgery itself, 1) the doctor "messing up" all the work Dr. H did last year to get rid of the adhesions ( I want to have more babies and really don't want to have to have more surgery to remove adhesions to have the next baby to then have to have a c-section, and thus a never ending cycle of surgery); 2) how in the world do I take care of myself after such a major surgery, plus give excellent care to my baby; 3) how is this going to affect breastfeeding?  

Yes, I know, it supposed to be for the best because by chance, which I think is a miniscule chance, my uterus could rupture and we could both kick the bucket.  But, I'm still not happy about this and I still think my body could handle natural birth.  This really sucks and it's making me cry.    

Wit's end

I am just about at wit's end with my husband, his diverticulitis, and constant random complaints of "stomach pain."  Ever since he had a very mainstream, pro-surgery gastro tell him to just go ahead and have part of his colon removed, he is complaining more and more.  That doctor had no respect for diet and even said he would rather have his own colon removed that give up steaks.  Obviously, his advice is not something to act on without getting several other opinions.  

I really feel like my husband is attention seeking and that in his mind, having surgery will get him more attention. Well, I won't stand for it.  Him having surgery will just be further burden on me.  I'm the one who will have to deal with a whiny complainy patient who won't take his medicines and won't exercise.  I am the one who will have to make sure he is eating only what the surgeon says he can have and fight with him when he tries to eat his favorites.  I am the one that will be stuck with the medical bills.  I'm not having it

Having part of your colon removed just so you can eat whatever you want is insane.   Good grief.  How much have I sacrificed because of endo and IF?  Can he not make some small sacrifices for his own health and life?  I have taken us to a naturopath who has done food sensitivity testing and recommended various supplements for us.  I have dutifully ordered everything she suggested and put it all in little pill boxes so that it should be easy for him.  I am constantly finding that when I go to take my supplements, I find that he skipped his.  It is so damn frustrating! And, I happened to get up this morning before he left for work just so I could physically bring his meds to him and watch him take them.  He has one supplement that is a powder that is mixed with water.  I brought that to him with his pills, and he tried to tell me the powder stuff gives him a "stomach ache."  I was about to go through the roof.  But, I calmly as I could explained to him that nothing in there could cause him a "stomach ache" and that everything in it is designed to sooth his intestinal issues.  So, he takes it, and tells me to take note of the fact that he took it, as if he is going to have himself a little "stomach ache" later today and "show me" that he can't take the stuff.  So, I noted to him to take note that he also had a cup of coffee this morning, and coffee is a food that he is sensitive to. So, there. 

Y'all.  I am so tired of all this that I sometimes think of just leaving.  I even put together a healthy breakfast for him.  A banana and a slice of double fiber bread with natural PB and simply fruit jam with added fiber.  He takes the freaking toast and leaves the banana.  Aaargh!!!!!  Like he can't possibly eat the banana because he'll be so full from the toast.  Whatever.  He probably is going to eat donuts at work.  

I even bought him soy milk because he is not supposed to have dairy (severe reaction to whey).  Has he tried it?  Nope!  I have even tried it and it tasted good and I reported that to him, but he still stubbornly refuses to try it.  I was going to put it in his coffee this morning, but he came into the kitchen before I could do so.  Dang it!

I am tired of having to mother him, but the alternative is let him do whatever he wants and ultimately he goes in for a major surgery to remove part of his colon. And who pays for that, both emotionally, physically, and financially?  Me!  He will be even worse to deal with after having surgery. This is a man who blows every little ache and pain out of proportion.  Can you imagine what he would be like after surgery?  

So, any advice?  I'm tired of this.  And, this is a time when I should be happily preparing for baby and taking care of myself and the baby.  

Tiny bumper car

Since last Sunday, I have been feeling the baby move pretty regularly.  I know people have described that feeling a lot of different ways, but to me, it feels like there's a tiny bumper car bouncing around in there.  The feeling is amazing!  Every time it happens, I just smile and wonder whether it was a hand, or a kick.  Last night, my husband even got to feel it.  We had just gotten back from dinner and were watching some tv and having some dessert and I felt like the whole baby was over on the left side.  So, I had him place his hand there, and within a few seconds, boom!, a move strong enough that he could also feel it.  It was so cute seeing the excitement in his face.  I think it's the coolest thing that he's ever experienced, and I'm so glad that we're finally getting to experience it.  

I need to post a bump pic, but I don't have the camera with me right now.  I guess I'm still pretty small because I had a woman flabbergasted today when I told her I was due in November.  To me, I think I am pretty huge, because I know what I normally look like, but to outsiders, I seem tiny.  I guess that's good!  

We finally ordered a crib and dresser last week.  We looked around at several places, including Ta.rget, wal.mart, a fancy shop here in town, and online at PB kids, and ultimately decided to go with PB kids.  They were less expensive than the fancy shop in town, but just as nice.  And, I got an e-mail today that the items I ordered are in route and scheduled to be here by Wednesday!  Yeah!  I can't wait to see the room start to come together.

We also started our baby registry at Ta.rget, and went to a cloth diapering workshop today at a local natural parenting store and started our diaper registry there.  So, I think we're pretty much set.  Except, I'm still waiting for my doc to review my op report from my myomectomy to let me know if he's okay with me trying natural birth.  I hope so.  I would love to avoid more surgery.  Once I know what he's going to let me do, then I need to sign up for birthing classes and baby CPR.  I assigned husband the duty of figuring out the whole vaccine debate and what we're going to do about it.  

Oh, there's still the matter of picking out a name.  We have to pick out both a girl name and a boy name since we are not finding out what we're having.  I think we're set on the girl name, but we just cannot agree on the first name for a boy.  The middle name has to be Gerard, so that's easy. But, every time we start talking about the first name, he doesn't like names I like, and I don't like names he likes.  Sigh.  We'll probably be in the delivery room still undecided on a boy name.  Maybe that means we're having a girl?  I hope so!  I would love to have a girl.  They are so sweet and all the clothes are so cute!  

Well, that's about it for now.  Off for a nap and hopefully more bumper car bounces in my belly.  :)

Yeah!

I just got back from a week-long vacation in Louisiana visiting my mom and the rest of my family.  It was a fun get-away, but when I returned, GREAT news was waiting in the mailbox:  PPVI is now "in-network" with BCBS.  Yahoo!!!!!!!!  No more paying 40% out of pocket.  Now only 20%.  What a relief!

Doctors

I'm happy with one and not happy with the other.  Let me start with who I'm happy with:  my OB.  That guy is funny and on my side, oh and basically told me the baby is perfect and all is good.  Yeah!  He confirmed that everything on the ultrasound was good and my belly is measuring exactly where it should.  So, yahoo for that!  

Now, for who I am not happy with:  the gastro.  I put off calling their office, but I have been having some UC symptoms for about 3 weeks and decided that diet is not helping so I better try some meds.  I called yesterday, and the idiot receptionist, after I explained I was pregnant and am having issues, told me the next available appointment is in late September.  So, I reiterated, "ma'am, I'm pregnant, the UC is acting up, and this could be a danger to my baby and September is too long to wait and see."  So, then she tells me that the nurse practitioner has an opening at the end of August.  Oh my gosh!  Is she not getting this?!  So, I finally asked if I could just leave a message with the nurse.  The nurse called me back and asked about my symptoms and was going to talk to the doctor and call me back. As of this morning, there was no call back yet.  

I'm thinking to myself:  the gastro has one freaking body part that he treats, and they have no way to get an emergent patient in?  Come on!  I can call the OB and get in that day if I have a problem.  I can call my general practitioner and get an appointment sometime that same week.  Why is a gastro so unreachable?  

Anyway, while at my OB appointment, I shared with him the symptoms I was having and that I was waiting on a call back from the gastro nurse because they told me no appointments are available until September.  He seemed taken aback by that and told me I should just go upstairs to their office and they would have to deal with me if I was in their face.  Good advice, doc!  So, I did that and walked away with samples of some med called Lialda and they said they were calling in a prescription for some kind of enema.  Well, apparently whatever they called in is not available, apparently out of stock with the supplier.  Craziness.  

So, I'm waiting to hear from my OB if Lialda is OK and waiting to hear from the gastro about what they want to do about the other med.  What a fiasco.  And, tomorrow, I have an appointment with the naturopath to find out what all she has to say about the food sensitivity testing.  I'll tell you, I'm skeptical about it all because I avoided wheat for a week and saw no improvement in my symptoms.     

Glory be to God! Great ultrasound!

Just got back from the ultrasound, and everything looks great.  Baby is measuring right on track, and due date is still November 25.  It was so amazing to see!  The baby did some yawning, a lot of kicking, and some fist pumping.  Amazing!  Here are some video clips:

Big day tomorrow!

Tomorrow we'll have the big ultrasound, but I'm still not going to find out boy or girl.  Aaaah!  I cannot wait to see the baby and how much he/she has grown.  I cannot wait! 

Sinking in

So, a few days have passed since the food sensitivity testing results came in, and I am slowly figuring my way around it all.  I ended up finding a food allergy menu planning service online (http://allergyfreemenuplanners.com/) and I am going to give it a try for a while.  It allows you to select certain pre-set allergy free menus (such as gluten, soy, and dairy fee; or gluten free only, etc.) and/or input your various food intolerances and select recipes that meet those needs.  At first, I inputted both me and my husband's severe and moderate intolerances, and well, that hardly left any recipes for us.  So, I decided to just worry about the severe ones and inputted those.  The menu plan for this week looks pretty good.  We did have to take a 30 minute drive over to the health food store and buy a bunch of things I've never heard of like arrowroot powder, almond meal, coconut flour, and coconut butter, so this should be interesting.  

I had myself a little breakdown after mass this morning while we were trying to decide where to go to get something to eat.  With bread being out of the picture, I can't easily make decisions about what I can have and what I want.  We went into a gh.engis grill, and it smelled gross, so we left, and then my husband suggested another place, but I hate going there because it's so dark inside, and then I ended up crying because I was starving and felt like there was nothing I could eat.  Luckily, there was a q.doba nearby, and I knew I could get a tortilla-less burrito in a bowl, so we went there.  Funny thing is, though, yesterday I had a tortilla-less burrito bowl at ch.ipotle.  Yesterday it was beef, today chicken.  I feel like I am just going to end up in an endless rotation of meats, whereas before I often went for vegetarian options, but those are no fun without bread and cheese because then you're just left with a big pile of veggies. Blah!

Oh, and big news!  I think I felt the first baby kick yesterday afternoon, but I'm not certain.  I was taking a nap, and was in that in-between state where you're half asleep, and I felt something "roll" just above my pubic bone and it woke me up, and I thought, "was that they baby?!", so I laid there waiting for it to happen again, and it didn't.  Now, I'm wondering if I dreamt that, or if it really happened.  I don't know if this ever happens to any of you, but all my life I've often had times where I'm on the verge of sleep and I dream that I'm walking along and I trip in a hole, and I wake myself up with my leg jerking.  I wonder if this baby kick was something like that or real.  I can't wait to feel those movements all the time! 

Say it ain't so!

Nooooooooooooooooo!  I got my food sensitivity testing back, and I am severely intolerant of wheat (along with clam, crab, halibut, and snapper) and mildly intolerant of gluten and casein, so I'm told I should eliminate barley, oat, and rye, and avoid milk.  I could just cry!!!!!!  What the heck am I going to eat?!

I'm also moderately intolerant to tea, butternut squash, button mushroom, cabbage, celery, corn, cranberry, ginger, grapefruit, hops, lime, peanut, scallop, spinach, and watermelon.  And mildly intolerant to avocado, banana, basil, black pepper, broccoli, cherry, coconut, egg yolk, eggplant, green pea, parsley, pear, pecan, plum, rice, salmon, shrimp, string bean, sweet potato, tomato, tuna, vanilla, white potato, and something called candida albicans (which apparently means sugar because they say to limit cane sugar, fructose, and honey).

Good Lord, does that leave anything?!  Doesn't seem like it.  I honestly have no idea what I'm going to do.  I have pizza at least once a week, love me some burritos, and am always wheating it up (bread, cereals, cream of wheat, etc).  

On the other hand, hopefully this is a good explanation for the ulcerative colitis, and maybe the endometriosis, because I've read that endo is an autoimmune disease.  So, the theory goes that if your body has an intolerance to certain foods, when you eat them, it activates your immune system.  

I just don't even know where to start, though, with the menu planning.  Oh, and get this total injustice.  My husband was also tested because he was diagnosed with diverticulitis and chronic inflammation of the colon.  NONE of the things he is severely or moderately intolerant of are things that he even likes.  So freaking unfair!!    

Y'all, what am I going to do?  I know you can buy gluten free things, but how do you get fiber if you can't have most grains?  And, I think most GF people don't have to avoid milk.  Is anyone else out there limited to such a strict diet as me?  Have any advice?  So sad over here . . . 

Cutest socks ever and updates

I finished up knitting these super cute baby socks from D.ebbie B.liss E.ssential B.aby:

I'm really excited with how well they turned out.  This was my first venture into cable knit.  Now, I'll be moving on to the hooded jacket.  I bet that will take me a loooong time.  6 balls of yarn, using size 6 and 3 needles.  I'll probably end up with arthritis by the end of it.  lol

Tomorrow will mark 18 weeks!  I have an ultrasound next Thursday and my next doctor appointment next Friday.  I'm anxious for both appointments because I haven't gained any weight in several weeks, and I'm wondering if it might have something to do with the U.lcerative c.olitis, which I think has been starting to act up.  Maybe due to the not so stellar diet I've been following because I still hate vegetables since I'm pregnant, and work has been stressful.  So stressful that yesterday I decided to just go AWOL.  I knitted, got a pedicure, bought some new lip gloss, and ironed church linens.  Aaah, delightful.  

I called the nurse at the OB's office yesterday about the lack of weight gain, but she did not think it was urgent enough to come right in.  And, I'm waiting on the food sensitivity testing to come back and see what the naturopath says about that.  I do not want to call the gastro's office because they will just throw fistfuls of medications at me.  Seriously, when I was diagnosed back in January, they put me on pre.dnisone and some other medication that was 5 freaking pills per dose.  Had to stop that med because it made my eyes leak tears.  I don't want that kinds of stuff coming anywhere near my baby.  I would much rather go the natural route.   

So, that's about all the news over here.  Heading for my progesterone blood draw in a bit.  Plus, another thyroid panel to see if there's been any change since the last time.  I wonder how many needles have been stuck in this poor body.  Too many to count!

Like sneaking a peek at your Christmas presents

Since almost the day we found out we were pregnant, the number one thing people ask is "how long until you find out what you're going to have?"  When we tell them we don't want to find out, they seem so deflated and some try to convince us to change our minds.  Won't happen, though.  I have always loved surprises, and to me, finding out whether we are having a boy or girl would be like sneaking a peek at my Christmas presents or birthday presents.  In my opinion, it would take a big part of the anticipation and fun out of the whole process.  So, I'll take the surprise, please!  And in the meantime, for all my friends who are worrying their sweet minds over yellow clothing, hello, there are lots of colors besides pink and blue.  How about some green, my favorite color? Or purple, or orange, or teal or any other color in the spectrum?  :)

17 weeks today!  Yahoo!  And, while I've gotten a little bit of a bump, not really enough to say "wow, you're pregnant" instead of "hmm, you're kind of fat."  I know every pregnancy is different, but I would like that nice reassuring round belly.  It's hard to believe still that there is a baby in there!  I was standing in the bathroom looking at my belly in the mirror the other night and complaining to my husband that I was worried there must be something wrong because how could a baby be in that small belly?  And, he had to remind me the baby is only the size of an avocado.  Good point!  I mean, I had a grapefruit sized fybroid hanging off my uterus back in 2007 and had no clue.  So, an avocado is a piece of cake!

I ventured into maternity clothing over the last couple of weeks.  My husband surprised me with a cute maxi dress from mother.hood.  Very sweet of him, but that dress is ginormous on me.  I have worn it, but I feel like I am swimming in it.  I think it will work well for third trimester, but I'll need a sweater over it then!  :)

I also ordered a couple of stretchy t-shirts from g.a.p maternity and a denim skirt, khaki capris, and a sun dress from o.l.d. n.a.v.y maternity. Everything fits pretty good and is cute except for the denim skirt, which was a size 2 and was huge on me.  So, I called up customer service to exchange for a 1, and the woman on the line was all, "Oh my gosh.  You're tiny!  I've never worn anything that size in my life."  I had no idea what to say, so I just chuckled.  I mean, sizing is totally irrelevant nowadays.  I am convinced they keep putting smaller size tags on bigger clothes.  This size 2 skirt was more like what I think an 8 probably is.  And, I am willing to bet that a piece of clothing from 1950 marked as a size 6 would be today's typical 2.  

Anyway, I digress.  17 weeks and just a couple more weeks before we get to see our baby via ultrasound again.  I can't wait!  Time goes by so slow between those doctor visits.  This next ultrasound will be the big one where people usually find out the sex of their baby.  I think they also do a lot of measuring everything to make sure everything is ok.  I pray that all is well!  Every day I pray for a healthy, beautiful, and Holy child.  A little saint!

Oh, one last thing.  I was at the eye doctor yesterday because lately, I have been squinting to see the road signs when I'm driving.  My RX hasn't changed in probably 8 years, so I figured, well, I'm getting older.  Come to find out, it is common for pregnant women's RX to change.  Mine went up .25 on each eye.  But, the good news is that he said it will likely go back to normal after I'm finished breastfeeding, and that the change in RX is hormone related.  Isn't that weird?!  He also said it can fluctuate, so if I find that things start getting blurry again, just come back, and he will give me sample lenses so I don't have to keep buying loads of new contacts that end up not being useful to me.  

Oh, wait, one other thing.  The eye doctor and his wife are also pregnant after about 4.5 years of trying (but they did IVF).  We got to chatting all about pregnancy stuff, and he told me about this store near where we live that is like a TJ m.a.xx for baby stuff.  So, I am going to by there and check it out today.  He said they get new stuff in all the time. Fun! Fun!  Can't wait!  We haven't bought anything for the baby yet.  If I can get a good deal on some stuff, well, then, right on!  

Naturopathy

Things have been good ulcerative colitis-wise since being on LDN, but my husband has had several flareups of his diverticulitis (that's what 38 years of bachelorhood and hamburgers will do to you), and recently had a gastro doc recommend an elective resection of a foot of his colon.  Um, over my dead body! That is insane.  So, I found a naturopathic doctor near us, who is both a MD and a naturopath.  We consulted with her on Saturday, and she recommended various supplements and food sensitivity testing.  So, both my husband and I will be on fish oil, vitamin D, and Culturelle (she didn't like that I was on Flora Source), and husband will also be on Vitamin A.

The food sensitivity testing will test for inflammatory responses to 100 different foods and several different food additives.  I'm excited to get those results, especially for my husband.  I have never met anyone who, never fails, after every time we eat at a restaurant, and sometimes occasionally a meal at home, will have a five minute sneezing attack.  He has got to be allergic to something, and if it's causing that much sneezing it must be causing damage on the inside.  I'm excited for myself too because I think possibly the UC, the endo, the adhesions, and the fybroid (from back in 2007) could all potentially be related.  The naturopath thought it was an interesting point because all of that stuff is in the same area.  I just hope that it doesn't come back that one or more of my favorite foods is on the "no" list.  

We had the blood drawn today for that testing, and good Lord, my arm is still hurting.  It's like my dang vein is bruised.  I asked the phlebotomist to use a butterfly needle, and she was all sassy about it and used whatever she wanted.  My husband said it was a big needle.  Well, I can sure tell.  It freaking hurts. :(

Anyway, the naturopath also suggested that I switch to a "whole food" prenatal vitamin.  I checked out what she recommended, but it would cost $50 a month.  I decided I would stick with what I'm taking and with the fish oil, I should be fully covered.  I mean, vitamins have been around for decades.  Since when does it matter if they're "whole food"?  

So, that's about all that's new with me.  I'm at 16 weeks now and will have the big ultrasound on June 28, but we're not going to find out if it's a boy or girl.  I think that's like peeking at your Christmas presents.  I like being surprised!   

One Project Down!

I finally finished the little baby shorts that I started 3 years ago and, drum roll, here they are:

I got the pattern from Debbie Bliss's book, "Essential Baby."  I was supposed to use her cashmerino yarn, but the store I went to way back then didn't have anything like that, so I just used cotton.  I think they turned out pretty good, although I imagine they would have been softer and less "stiff" if I had that fancy schamncy yarn.  Oh well!  And, I was supposed to turn the bottom edge under and stitch it in place.  I don't get the point of that.  It would be super hard to get that tiny edge pinned down in the spot she calls for, and I like the little trim at the bottom.  

Now, my next project, which I hope to get started on today if my yarn arrives, is the duffle coat from the same book:

It will probably take me forever, but how cute is that?!  And, this time I searched the internet and ordered the yarn the project calls for.  So, I'm super excited!  

Other projects I want to do from the book are the felted slippers, which I have made for several other people before, and now I can finally make them for my baby!  yeah!  And, there is a cute pattern for cable knit socks.  I have never done any cable knitting before, but I'm willing to give it a try, especially given it's a small project.  After that, there is a very cute pinafore dress in the book, but we're not finding out what we're having.  So, if I make it, and we have a boy, dang.  I guess I could save it in case we have another baby and it turns out to be a girl.  Maybe I will wait on that one until after the baby is born.  The only other thing in the book I am interested in is this cute hooded carrying bag, which is like a zippered sleepsack with a hood.  But, it calls for 8 dang balls of debbie bliss yarn, which would be super expensive, and I can't imagine how much use it would get.  I think I would more likely use the swaddler blanket contraption thingies I've seen in the stores.  So, after I get all those projects finished, assuming I can do them all before November, I might hit the library and see if they have any knitting books with cute patterns.  I would love to have a whole little wardrobe for the peanut.  :)  

Oh, and I e-mailed two yarn stores around here to see if they know of anyone I can pay to finish my teddy bear that has so many darn pieces to sew together.  I got one e-mail back, and they are checking.  Praise the Lord!  Otherwise, I think that thing would never get finished.  I don't think I will ever knit another thing that calls for so many separate pieces again.

Hopefully, it will be a gorgeous day here.  It was cloudy, cold, and rainy yesterday.  Strange, given that it's been sweltering hot for weeks.  Husband is out of town for a boarding school reunion, so, I have the house all to myself and can do whatever fun thing I want.  For now, the plan is to take a walk, get showered and dressed, go hunt for a case or roll for all my knitting needles (for the last few years, they're all just tossing around in the bottom of a bag, which is not very safe; I would surely cry if my favorite pair of rosewood needles got broken), and maybe start peeking at maternity clothes, all the while monitoring that mailbox to see if my yarn is here!  :)  Hope you all have a great day!  

Another great follow up appointment

I had another OB appointment today, and everything is still looking great!  The baby's heart rate is now at 156.  I apparently have gained 11 pounds since the beginning.  I can believe it because I am looking a little pudgy when I see my midsection in the mirror.  And, we sweet talked the doctor into another quick ultrasound peek.  My husband took the video, and I wish he would have zoomed in more.  The baby has definitely grown a lot, and we could see him/her kicking and what appeared to be hiccuping.  So cool!  Here's the video in two parts:

Knitting

I picked up knitting about 5 and a half years ago and slowly have gotten a little better with each project, although, I often go many months, and sometimes a year between a project.  I realized last weekend that whoa!  I have a baby due in November, and he/she will need lots of cute knitted things.  So, I am trying to finish up this Teddy bear I started a year and a half ago, and a pair of baby shorts I knit 3 years ago but never finished off so that I can start on some new projects.  

But, I HATE finishing knitting projects.  The sewing is such a pain in the butt, and I always end up with some kind of problem caused by the sewing.  This stupid teddy bear I'm working on has way too much to sew.  Two separate pieces of body, two leg pieces, two arm pieces, paw pads, 4 ear pieces to be sewn to make 2 ears, and a head.  I'd upload a picture of all these pieces, but I am exhausted from knitting the four ear pieces and sewing the head seam together today.  I feel defeated looking at the rest of it.  

Gosh!  I wish there was a place I could send all the sewing to after I did all the knitting.  It is so tedious!  Any body out there love sewing and want to finish my projects for me, pretty please?

28.2

28.2.  That's my progesterone reading from yesterday's blood draw.  Dang.  I wanted it to be higher than that.  At least the increased injection dosage is working, though, because that's a 12 point increase from 2 weeks ago.  And, I guess Dr. H is not concerned because he said to continue on the same dosage.  So, I will not freak out, and I will just focus on having a fun long weekend.  Happy Memorial Day everyone!

One Blessed Baby!

Today, we received the Blessing of a Child in the Womb!  We were the first that our priest has given the new blessing to, and it was so beautiful.  I just love how the blessing asks for comfort and relief of anxiety, and health of the baby:

God, author of all life,

bless, we pray, this unborn child;

give constant protection

and grant a healthy birth

that is the sign of our rebirth one day

into the eternal rejoicing of heaven.

Lord, who have brought to this woman

the wondrous joy of motherhood,

grant her comfort in all anxiety

and make her determined

to lead her child along the ways of salvation.

Aaaah, so comforting!  

Tomorrow marks 14 weeks!  It's strange to believe that this is really happening.  Although, the nightly nausea and the ever so slight baby bump are making it real.  So much for morning sickness being over by the end of the first trimester.  Whew!  Sunday night right before bed, I had the worst puking episode since I was a kid.  It was like a scene from the exorcist.  

Tomorrow will also be two weeks since my last progesterone reading, so I'm anxious to see if it is better now that we've doubled my dosage.  I see my OB again on the 31st and can't wait to hear that little heartbeat again!  I wish I could hear it everyday!  

160

Thank you all for all of your prayers and comments!  I called my OB this morning and got in for a check just to put my mind at ease.  The baby's heart rate was still strong at 160.  Turns out, though, that I have an infection.  The only thing I can think that would cause that is all the sugar I've been eating.  Before I got pregnant, I was eating an anti-inflammatory diet, which meant I had no sugar whatsoever.  Well, I've been a bad girl since getting pregnant.  I have been sucking Jolly Ranchers to get rid of nausea, eating chocolate zingers (a childhood favorite), and loads of honey mixed in with peanut butter every morning.  I guess I'm going to have to wean myself off of all those goodies.  

I'm so glad that everything is ok with the baby.  Those were a scary few days!  It's so hard to be calm when I know that I've had 2 miscarriages before.  I pray that this pregnancy continues to go well and that we get to meet this little one.