This is the third cycle where I have spotting starting on P+3 and lasting several days, seemingly stopping only when the hcg kicks in. I am so freaking frustrated with this. For months, things were rolling along fine, and now this new issue has crept in. The first cycle it happened, I did not make it a direct question in my cycle review, so I didn't get any advice from Dr. H about it. I assumed he would see it in the chart and say something about it. Last month, I made it a direct question, and the response was to wait and see if it happened this cycle. Well, it has, and it is stressing me out. I want it resolved and fixed!
And, to top it off, as this bleeding phenomenon hits this morning, I catch a glimpse of my across the street neighbor who is now super pregnant. It's like a slap in the face seeing that. It especially hurts because we became friends last year when we discovered we were both trying, we both had laparascopy on the same day, we both had to have more surgery, and boom!, she gets pregnant and here I am a year later still trying. Sad thing is, we haven't hung out even once since I get the text that she "got her miracle." It's so sad.
Part of me just feels like giving up on this whole process. I know I've said it before, and I know I won't do it, but I am so frustrated and tired. I realized yesterday that I now have 3 full Creighton charts. That means, a year and a half of looking at toilet paper. You know, if I just had some disease that required a hysterectomy, I could throw in the towel, gather up all that freaking paperwork and have a bonfire. Burn, baby, burn! I think I would even strip naked and dance that a crazy loon around that fire. lol
Y'all, I guess I am losing my mind here. Where is my magic cure, that one last med that will put it all in place and "fix" me?