My thoughts over the last several days

I have been thinking a lot about the whole c-section thing since my doctor's appointment last Friday.  Pretty much all of Friday, I was in tears every time I thought about it.  A panicky, anxious kind of crying.  The idea of laying there awake while my guts are cut open and I can feel them pulling and tugging, oh God.  It's barbaric and scary.  I think I need to see a counselor or psychologist who works with overcoming fears if I am going to be able to go through this.  

Second, I keep questioning whether my doctor was insisting on the c-section or just trying to convince me and get my OK.  I feel like I need to schedule a meeting with him to go over it again.  Is there any room for compromise?

Third, I am so worried about the adhesions issue.  Dr. H did such great work last year taking care of my crazy adhesions. They were all over the place, so of course I am predisposed to getting adhesions.  I want more children in the future.  If I have the c-section, that is likely to leave me with adhesions, which will put me right back in my infertility fight.  If I could just have the adhesions issue out of the equation, I know that would make the conception of any future babies a lot easier.  So, I see two risks or options.  In the first, if by some chance I could convince the doctor to let me try a vaginal birth, there is the slight risk (I am guessing 3% chance), that there could be a uterine rupture, and he would have to perform an emergent c-section.  In such an emergency situation, he's not going to have time to take steps to minimize adhesion formation.  However, there would be a 97% chance he wouldn't have to do the c-section.  

Option 2, with a scheduled c-section, maybe I could get him to agree to follow certain techniques to minimize adhesions.  I did e-mail Dr. H's nurse at the beginning of my pregnancy to ask what I could ask my doctor to do to help minimize adhesions, and they replied back to ask the doctor to use a two-layer uterine closure and ask her/him to close all layers-especially the peritoneum and bladder flap.  That seems to be in accord with this discussion I found online: http://www.zsxmedical.com/resources/Diamond.html

I also found this website for an adhesion barrier product: http://www.csectionhealing.com/adhesion-prevention.aspx

And, I came across a reference to a journal article describing Dr. H's research and near adhesion-free surgery.  The article is called "Near Adhesion-Free Reconstructive Pelvic Surgery: Three Distinct Phases of Progress Over 23 Years", but I can't find free access to it anywhere on the internet.  Anyone happen to have a copy?  I'd like to see if any of those techniques might be able to be used during c-section.  I'd like to discuss those things with my doctor, too.  I hope he doesn't get offended, but I just want to make sure we do everything we can to prevent me having to have another surgery (or surgeries) to correct damage done during a c-section.  

So, go with a scheduled c-section where hopefully my doctor will use techniques designed to reduce chances of adhesions?  Or, take the 3% chance that I will need an emergency c-section where precautions would be thrown out the window?  Of course, this all assumes that I even have a choice.  After Friday's appointment, I don't know what to think.  Was he insisting, or persuading?  If persuading, that means I have a choice.  But, I don't want to make a stupid choice.