I am starting to really wonder if I should just quit and give up. I'm tired. I want a normal life. I want to stop having to keep up with temperatures and mucus, making sure to take medications on certain days, and having blood draws. But, another part of me thinks, "just hang in there." Technically, we have only been trying for 4 months since my surgery with Dr. H because the first 2 months were recovery time. Maybe I should give it a full year before I throw in the towel. I just wish I already had 2 kids by now. I wish someone had just shown up at our door and handed us 2 babies.
Sometimes I think about maybe looking into adoption. But, it all seems so daunting. First of all, it's ridiculously expensive. I have heard in costs $20-30k. Who has that kind of money?! I sure don't. Second, I don't want someone all up in my business, judging me, scrutinizing our lives. Third, I don't want to meet birth mothers. How awkward. I don't want anyone knowing who we are, and I don't want to essentially plead for someone to give me their baby. If someone just left me a baby in a basket on the doorstep, of course I would take him/her in. I wish a stork would just show up with a baby wrapped in a blanket. Finally, I've heard/read that it takes forever to find an adoptable baby and get picked. I don't think I have the wherewithal to go through that.
So, I don't really know what to do. I guess trudge forward through blood draws, constant toilet-paper observations, vitamins, medications, and super healthy eating, at least for a full year, and keep looking for that stork to show up.