S**t my mother says

I love my mom, and I really wish I had her here taking care of me while I continue to be sick.  (by the way, the antibiotics are not working, and I'm waiting to hear back from my doctor on what he wants to do).  But, I swear sometimes she makes me so irritated.  I called her over the weekend to let her know how sick I was feeling and that I wished she was with me.  I was also telling her that I had given up on eating well while I don't feel good and was eating whatever I wanted to try not to be nauseous.  Then she started to basically go off on my IF treatment.  She is "pissed" and thinks that Dr. H just keeps finding other things wrong and that I am stressed out by everything I have to do and eat and that all I need to do is "relax" and get back to living and have some bl.ue.bell ice cream and casseroles and blah, blah, blah.   Oh my gosh.  If I hear her tell me one more time that I need to relax, I am going to lose it.  Or that I am on "such a restricted diet."  I should have told her what I felt, which is that she stresses me out, not my treatments or my diet.  Instead, I just said, if you had cancer, you wouldn't just relax and hope it goes away.  If you have a disease, like I do, you treat it.  And, of course the doctor finds things wrong.  That is why you go to him.  Good grief.  

I swear.  I want to scream at her.  Relax?  Relax?  That is the stupidest thing you can say.  And insensitive.  Like this IF is all in my head.  Clearly, it is not.  There are identifiable issues that are being treated.  And, telling me to relax is not going to cause me to relax.  It just irritates me.  

Oh, and she is always so negative about the endometriosis.  Always so certain that you just can't treat it and that hysterectomy is the ultimate outcome.  Any time I complain of anything, she tries to link it to endometriosis.  Give me a break.  First of all, the endometriosis was not bad.  I had more of an issue with scar tissue.  Endometriosis was a little bit in random places.  Second of all, negativity is not what a mother should be giving her daughter.  

I know she doesn't understand.  I know her experience is that people just get pregnant and things "just shouldn't be that hard."  But, she needs to realize that times are different and nowadays not everyone just gets pregnant.  And old southern ways of eating are not necessarily healthy.  

Going through napro is tiring.  It does take patience and persistence.  I get discouraged from time to time.  I wish I could just "relax" and stop taking meds and watching what I eat and just miraculously get pregnant.  I want to live a normal life again.  But, I realize that chances are that doing nothing is not going to help.  Instead, thank God Dr. H is out there and that there are treatments that are in-line with my faith.  I have to do my part if I expect God to help me.  So, along that path, instead of saying uninformed things, I wish my mom would just be supportive and give me a pep talk from time to time and encourage me to stick with it.