I am starting to really wonder if I should just quit and give up. I'm tired. I want a normal life. I want to stop having to keep up with temperatures and mucus, making sure to take medications on certain days, and having blood draws. But, another part of me thinks, "just hang in there." Technically, we have only been trying for 4 months since my surgery with Dr. H because the first 2 months were recovery time. Maybe I should give it a full year before I throw in the towel. I just wish I already had 2 kids by now. I wish someone had just shown up at our door and handed us 2 babies.
Sometimes I think about maybe looking into adoption. But, it all seems so daunting. First of all, it's ridiculously expensive. I have heard in costs $20-30k. Who has that kind of money?! I sure don't. Second, I don't want someone all up in my business, judging me, scrutinizing our lives. Third, I don't want to meet birth mothers. How awkward. I don't want anyone knowing who we are, and I don't want to essentially plead for someone to give me their baby. If someone just left me a baby in a basket on the doorstep, of course I would take him/her in. I wish a stork would just show up with a baby wrapped in a blanket. Finally, I've heard/read that it takes forever to find an adoptable baby and get picked. I don't think I have the wherewithal to go through that.
So, I don't really know what to do. I guess trudge forward through blood draws, constant toilet-paper observations, vitamins, medications, and super healthy eating, at least for a full year, and keep looking for that stork to show up.
I am sorry that another cycle has gone by....I just started my 2WW and the anxiety has started already. Don't give up yet. I pray that a stork finds its way to our doorsteps very soon.
ReplyDeleteI'm so sorry for all of yours struggles. I'll be sure to remember you in my prayers!
ReplyDeleteI am so sorry. And to think...some women get pregnant by 'accident' - can you imagine it?!? I'd love to figure out how to have that kind of accident. If I do, I'll be sure to share it with you...but something tells me we're doing all of the 'right' things.
ReplyDeleteI will be praying.
I'm so sorry! Don't give up yet. Give your body more time after your surgery. Hugs.
ReplyDeleteDon't give up! Your doctor may give you more info the longer you are I. Treatment. It does get old with all the tests, poking and prodding and all the observations. Anything is possible on this journey. Infertility is a long lonely road and it is hard on the soul. I'm sorry for what you're feeling right now. Please stick it out you never know what could happen! I will keep you in my prayers.
ReplyDeletePlease don't give up. I am praying for you. I feel the exact same at the end of every failed cycle. It's only 4 months and there are so many bloggers who conceived within a year after surgery! All things are possible with God. Hang in there...
ReplyDeleteThanks so much for commenting on my post! I'm praying that a stork shows up soon for both of us! :) Don't give up... I know God has amazing things in store for you. It is only a few months past surgery. And go ahead- have some of that wine. ;) I enjoyed a glass last night!!
ReplyDeleteThank you for your strength which is an inspiration to me. I love you.
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